It is often difficult to assist humans with achieving what they would like to view as their accomplishments. This is because there are so many differing emotional levels that underline how humans see the things that they do. For example, Gerry works in the newspaper industry and if one of his sales people accomplishes wonderful things then they are happy to be recognized for that and yet unhappy to have their accomplishments paraded before those who did not accomplish that which was expected of them. Ah, there are the key words…that which was expected of them. In almost all of life there are goals that we are expected to work, in order to reach and even to exceed. There is an expectation of what makes a good mother, a good friend, a good boss, a good leader. There is a sense of what is the “standard goal” for all of these things and when one exceeds these goals they are either revered or criticized…depending on the person you speak to.

So then what are goals…what are accomplishments and how do you sense what is a true accomplishment for your spirit and not for the overall well being of others…and when do the two connect how can you tell?

Those goals that are the best sought after are the ones that would take you to the most complete expression of the “human being” that you have chosen to be in this lifetime. These are sometimes in concert with the goals that have been created for you by your family, friends work and social circle.

Finding yourself, the real expression of who you are, is no small task. From the time of being very young most humans gain approval by behaving in the way that most pleases other people. Humans are driven by love or removal of love and it is quickly learned that actions that are taken to make other people happy…whether in work or in their social lives…will get them love…or rather an expression of appreciation that they will allow themselves to perceive as love. After awhile one is so used to determining the value of ones self worth by the actions of acceptance taken by others, that it is easy to forget what were the things that truly made you personally happy. Up until the teenage years the individual has, in most cases, extreme awareness of the things that make them happy. After that point, they will derive their happiness from the act of making other people happy and that will become their primary goal. You may not recognize yourself in this scenario…or more importantly you may not see this in your significant other…but if you look deeply you will see that there is someone in their life that they are seeking approval from…even if it is not in their relationship. Their accomplishments become “being a good father” or “being a good mother”…or son or daughter…and all of these are admirable things…but in the process if you loose a true sense of yourself than you are no longer being you…but rather you are a shadow of the person who you desire to please.

But what does this have to do with accomplishments and being your truest personal self. The greatest accomplishment that one can make is to not loose your soul while you are trying to lift the souls of others. In the world of 12 Step Programs this is called “setting boundaries”. Retaining a sense of your own identity while you are answering the needs of others. To do this is not really that difficult. You need to continually seek out what makes you personally happy in all the things that you do…for yourself and others. If your focus is on what makes you happy…in all that you do…then your energy will draw to you more things that will make you happy. But if your focus is on how much you resent the things that you are doing…your work…your marriage etc, then the focus of your life is on what you are missing rather then what joys you are experiencing. To recognize these joys and to give thanks for all of the things in your life that make you happy is an accomplishment. It is the recognition of an act well done, or the joy of lifting your own spirit or the spirits of others. When you discover a song that lifts your spirit it is an accomplishment. When you find a book that gives you rest and enjoyment then you have soothed your mind and spirit and that is an accomplishment. When you do something for another and you know you have done well…even if it not appreciated…it is an accomplishment. It is a “fete de comply”…a good act completed. These are the types of accomplishments that will build the spirit and will soothe the soul. And as they build in momentum they will draw you to even greater accomplishments and blessings.

Give thanks for that which gives you joy in even its most simple form and more abundant joys will come to you tenfold.

Be well and go in peace,
Margaret